Sunday, August 10, 2008

You REALLY want to know?

No one ever seems to "get" what a lupus flare feels like so, seeing as I'm pretty well acquainted with mine at the moment, I thought I'd fill you in...

1. Open eyes and stand in front of a fan on high for 10 minutes. Do not blink or look away. When 10 minutes is over and your eyes feel like stinging crunchy little balls and hurt worse when you cry, you can move away from the blowing air.

2. Slam your fingers in the car door then put on big Mickey Mouse type gloves. Try to pick up a toddler. Oh, and stop using your thumbs all together so you can grip like the cat-- the declawed cat. Remember, your thumb joint right by your palm has gotten slammed in that car door!

3. Get kicked in the side of the knee, both of them. Hips too, but the inside part. Hard to kick, I know, but that's where the pain is. After the shock of the pain when you bend your joint, slice it open and pour sand inside your knee so that it hurts even more.

4. Twist both ankles severely so it hurts like hell to put your weight on them. Don't reach for crutches-- they won't help and you can't use them anyway.

5. Drop bricks on your feet so they swell.

6. Slice open your feet and put little marbles under the skin so that when you walk (if you can) it always feels like you're walking on rocks, er, marbles.

7. Don't sleep for 3 days straight. Feel the exhaustion? Ok, now that will be the level that you live with despite 10 hrs of sleep at night plus naps. You can not catch up no matter how hard you try.

8. Get punched in the jaw so that your jaw joint swells and you can't shut your mouth. Try to eat/chew.

9. Tie your ribs together (surgical procedure done at the kitchen table ;) ) with razor wire and put an anvil on your chest. When you try to breathe, it will cause you excruciating pain which is a million times worse when you lie down. Have fun sleeping! And fwiw, you'll have problems ever eating ribs again for as long as you live.


How to get rid of it? Wait. None of the meds ever really work anyway, so just wait and pray for relief. Pray for sympathy which won't come b/c you still have your hair and there's not a descently popular celebrity out there that is campaigning for your cause. Wait til it goes away before the meds that might work cause you more harm than good.

Lupus is real and I hate it with every ounce of my being. HATE IT.

1 comment:

Sherry said...

Ugh. I just read this and my heart just breaks for you. I know that it does not do anything to make you feel better, but I wish it could. Keep blogging about it. It might help someone out there. I know it has helped me to understand more what people with Lupus go through. Your description made me cry, but I am sure that is nothing to what you go through. (((((HUGS and Prayers))))