My beloved dog, Odin, all 110# of him, gentle giant to one and all, is incredibly smart. Loyal, works hard to protect us by barking at birds flying by but also by running up to the unsuspecting electric meter reader man and insisting upon being pet by leaning on him til he practically falls over. Odin bows to the cats, whimpering a whine of confusion because all he wants to do is play. I suspect this is the same behavior that ensues when he attempts to play with the locals. And by locals, I mean the skunks.
Several years ago we had a bit of a skunk problem in the neighborhood. We were even blessed with a nest of youngsters under the deck. I'm all for critters making their homes in our yard but after Odin got sprayed no less than five times in a span of about six weeks, I called in the exterminator. And the lawn guys to treat the grubs because that's their favorite food in the world and we had a lot apparently. Yay, skunk central.
If I learned anything from that summer, and summers, falls and into early winters, it's all about skunk musk, removal and the general odor removal from the house. The nerdy scientist in me had to find out what the stuff was, how far it sprayed and, most importantly, what neutralized the hideous scent.
If you've never had a dog or other animal (or self? Oh that'd be unfortunate!) sprayed you know it's not the same as that whiff you get passing by a dead skunk on the road. It's pungent, permeating and actually burns your eyes and throat. To hell with mustard gas-- skunk musk is the real weapon!
So, Odin got sprayed last night for the first time in about 2 years. I know this because I was pregnant at the time, Ed was on ER call and of course not home. To bathe a dog of Odin's stature, it requires at the very least a stand-up shower with a removable sprayer, a prong collar and leash, and an adult to bathe him. When you're in such tight quarters with the hairy beast, you're bound to get wet, but you have options. Suck it up and wear wet clothes (that get skunky and hairy), change into a bathing suit (which will also get hairy and skunky and since you're either alone or with your spouse doing this, totally the easiest option. Not.), or strip down to your birthday suit. Option C, when 8 months preg, alone at roughly midnight, was my go to method. That's an image for the record books... I digress... The take-away message here is that if your dog is bigger than a cat and has to we washed in a tub, nudie up and prepare to have one very annoyed pooch. Do NOT risk your clothes. Trust me.
Back to our topic at hand: Skunk musk. Skunk musk is oil based animal secretion. The offensive odor is caused by a variant of a sulfur compound, which explains the burning of your eyes and throat when you have the "pleasure" of coming in close contact with it. Knowing this, we are able to figure out how to remove the musk from the animal (easier if it's a direct hit to say, his face, than the global musk-misting) and to a degree, removing the lingering odor from your home, hands, clothes you were wearing when he came in the house and rubbed up against you... you get the picture.
Priority one is getting the dog to the bathroom. Lock him in there while you get your wits about you, wake your spouse (if they didn't wake up with your screaming and swearing), strip down, and gather your provisions.
You will need (for a descent size dog):
- a restraining collar such as a choke or a prong and a water proof leash
- a stack of towels, one to put outside the shower, one for you, and at least 2 for the dog
- BABY shampoo (because your good Aveda stuff will burn his eyes and it's for blondes and he's a brunette)
- 2 buckets/pitchers/bowls/empty 2L bottles if you don't have a detachable shower head
- a bottle of wine
Take a moment to think back to chemistry-- remember how soaps are designed? They have an end that loves water and an end that loves oil. We have a lot of oil-based ick that needs to be rinsed down the drain. The key here is to locate the source of the musk on the dog-- find the wet spot. You might even be lucky enough to be able to SEE said spot. Get a handful of soap when you find it... whatever you do, DO NOT WET THE DOG (yet). DO NOT WET THE DOG.
DO NOT GET THE DOG WET YET!
The goal here is to not let the soap bond to anything but the oil of the musk. Yet. If you have that direct hit to the face/neck/side this will be easier than if your Newfie is down-wind of the mist of musk. Apply generous amounts of shampoo, and when I say generous, I mean like half the bottle if not more for the misted dog, and 2-3 handfuls to the direct hit. Work it in-- it will sort of lather up. Do try to keep it out of the dog's eyes because the sulfur will burn. Use baby shampoo because at least if it does get in his eyes, they'll only burn from one thing. If you have the misted dog, do your best to lather him up entirely without water. I usually just sniff around to see where it's worst because Odin has such an unruly thick coat that it would take a case of shampoo to fill the hair and a week of rinsing to get all the soap out. Do your best, use your good judgement.
Now we have a very soapy, interesting smelling dog on our hands and inevitably something you have to wake up to do in about 5 hours. Let's get going. Get the shower running on a warm water temp and start rinsing. Rinse until no suds come out and trust me, this can take a long time. It's essential though because if the soap stays, so does the oil and that stinky sulfur that is so awful in the first place. It will be one of two places-- the dog or down the drain. Pick one.
After a while you will have a clean dog that will probably not smell that horrid of skunk. It does not come out 100% and everything I've read says there really isn't a sure-fire way to neutralize the smell. Dry the dog off, finish the wine and go to bed. Clean the hair out of the shower in the morning. Address the stink anywhere else tomorrow also.
How to deal with clothing or furniture or carpet...
Baking soda. I swear by this stuff. It's the alkali to the acid, the gold standard of odor removers, cleaners, etc. Just search the web and you'll find a million uses for it other than making your cookies rise. For the clothing, if they can be laundered in the washing machine, add in a half cup (or so) of baking soda. (This works fantastically for removing the smell of vomit also, which any parent will tell you they have had to take care of at one point or another) This should do the trick. For carpet and furniture, sprinkle baking soda on the area that stinks and gently rub it in with your hand, like you would the carpet deodorizer powders. Let it sit for a couple of hours and do it's magic then vacuum it up. If the smell lingers still, I revert to a favorite old stand-by: Febreeze. No, I'm not getting paid to say that. It just works like a champ.
Those are my methods. Now I'd like to discuss some other deskunking options...
1. Tomato Juice. The biggest problem with this is that you basically need to soak the dog in tomato juice which is a problem for many reasons: Who keeps that much tomato juice around? How much does that cost? How do you get the dog to lay in the tub full of tomato juice? What happens when he shakes? You see the problems? I have no idea if it's a good deodorizer. It very well could be, however practical it is not.
2. Baking soda, hydrogen peroxide and soap. I'm not a fan of this method because I don't think well in a crisis or in the middle of the night when I'm woken up and definitely not when both occur simultaneously. This method requires measuring, making sure your hydrogen peroxide hasn't degraded into water, and repeating. If you get your proportions off, you can harm your dog. If it gets into his eyes, it can burn. So yet again, it may work but it's not my personal go-to method. Ever.
And remember, there's the final fix to your stinky companion: The groomer. The pro's have special shampoo and patience to removing the odor that no layman has. Leave the dog outside and take him to the groomer promptly when they open. No appointment available? Well maybe they'll keep him so you can go home and open the windows.
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